African tutus

There–did I get your attention?  Africa has nothing to do with this post, I just liked it when Ava said it today at a dance performance.  A better title would be ‘Settling in’ or ‘Authenticity ROCKS’.

As I sit on the deck of our Oregon home, I listen to the sound of Brian working on a tree house project with the girls.  And I smile.  Life is good.  Here is a finished picture—man, are they good!

It has been sometime since I have written for the blog but we have been busy acclimating to being back here.  I did not think it would be a challenging transition since most people think of the transition of ‘going’ to be more difficult.  No one thinks of the changes when you return to whence you came.  I found it more difficult coming back in ways that were good and not so good; I’ll try not to focus on the negatives since that’s how I roll but I thought you might want to know.

The girls, unbeknownst to us all, had a challenging reintegration.  They were constantly tired, trying to get into a schedule again of waking earlier and going to bed earlier; this took upwards of three weeks.  In addition, after being together 24/7 for six months with friends not nearly accessible as when we are home, they are going through a finding of themselves with their friends.  We have had our share of “she is my friend—you can’t play with us!” attitudes that we have worked through and continue to do so.

The acceptance that Daddy is traveling A LOT is treating both girls differently.  Ava is a girl that if you are in front of her, great, but if you are gone and she needs to skype with you or think about chatting with you, she is NOT all about that.   On the flip side, I see her REVEL in Brian when he is home.  She said this morning something to the effect of “I am just like Daddy!”  Tess is the emotional one and is having a harder time.  She occasionally cries and goes quiet, saying she misses Daddy when he is home.  I am glad to be there most moments and try to work through it with her and give her the emotional support she needs as well as suggest actions that will keep him close in her heart.  Brian and I talk about the effects of the travel but this is reality right now and we are thankful that Brian can get good money in OZ and thankfully, he actually likes it.  And it is short term, even though right now it doesn’t seem like that when you are a young girl.

Brian is hanging tough although in his very deepest heart of hearts, this is eating him up.  The light at the end of the tunnel is that this extensive travel thing is temporary.  He will take July off and between he and I both working part time, we will still enjoy the joys of life without letting it pass us by.  Also the huge lifestyle change of homeschooling Ava and Tess will allow for family time to connect regularly and take trips more often…now we need another trailer/bus.  Anyone have one for sale/barter? J

Missing Brian for me has always been part of the picture for us as a couple our entire relationship and I sort of like it.  No, that came out all wrong.  Read on.  My heart grows fonder while he is away and let me tell you that reunions are BLISSFUL, truly blissful.   Time stands still and we can just BE.   There are moments when I wake and so wish him to be by my side but alas, he is not.  I miss the good conversations that come at the times we don’t plan and the family activities that we attend in our community.  In due time, I tell myself, due time.

I am going through routine and trying to hold onto the bliss of the “nothing” that came with being on the road and having Brian by my side.   I asked for it and I got it:  I have plenty to keep up with including homeschooling the girls, gardening, cooking in my huge kitchen (yea!),  and following my many passions with lots of other stuff to “care for”.   And somehow in all of this,  I need/want to think about what I will do with my work life once we are more settled.  Currently, I am networking my little tush off whenever I can to find my niche.  I am quite sure it will come.

I am thankful for the community that we have here in Portland, not even mentioning the natural beauty that surrounds us.  Our personal community has developed but also continues to evolve and there always seems to be more room for all the cool people in our lives.  Old friends and new, it is all good.  What I most gleaned from our trip seems so simple, yet sometimes hard to achieve:  BEING authentic.  In a world of heavy media, consumerism and materialism, it is so easy to get lost in it.  The CreasyClan adventure stripped all that away from me and gave me the bare minimum.  In return, the real me came out and I was found by many other real,  authentic people.  I am smiling, can you see?  I only have time for the real peeps currently and try not to put up with the rest.  Interesting how you can dive right into amazing conversation with some and just talk about the weather with others.

What was lacking for me on the road (for me)was this community.  Oh yes, I found a group of wonderful new friends on the road where we shared common interests and lives.  But as a woman, to be in one place for longer than a week at a time, is now sacred.  I am doing my best to keep things simple and unscheduled but let me tell you, that is a hard task for me; type BIG ‘A’ of personality types.  I think the best way to describe it is that the trip helped me “chill” a lot earlier in life than most people.  I think I have the mindset of an older woman who is wiser, and hopefully kinder: to others and the world around me.

My journey continues and I will continue to live my life in extraordinary ways.  Thank you for your support along the way.  This is not the end only another piece of the whole pie and I will continue to blog but may change the tune of the blog title.  If you have any suggestions, please do share. There might even be a book in my foreseeable future, who knows?


3 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Aunt Theresa on April 28, 2011 at 1:59 am

    I love to hear your heart in the journey J. I appreciate that you have shared what you have learned along the way. My heart resonates with yours on so many levels. I love you guys!! T


  2. Posted by Gretchen on April 28, 2011 at 2:02 am

    You have returned and I feel the transition challenges from your well written and authentic post today. I will pray that you all find the peace that is within as your adjust to life in a non mobile home vs the mobile home you all created over the past year. Your story is revealing and helpful to all of us who seek deeper connections and simplicity and adventure. THANK YOU for sharing.


  3. Posted by Brian on April 28, 2011 at 4:45 am

    Nice honey, I am glad that you are feeling at home, at home again. Thanks for taking the adventure with me, and I look forward to more in life together.


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